Approximately 29 hours ago, I dropped my sweet, outgoing, and overly independent daughter off at her first “away-from-home” camp in Utopia Texas, about 90 minutes from home and far away in the beautiful Texas hill country and  from any state-of-the art medical facility.

I swear, for the first time in my life, I did not cry at a cry-worthy moment when we left Olivia with her friend Claire and several strangers in her cabin. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and would give my life to save theirs, but I don’t consider myself overly affectionate. I certainly underestimated how much I would miss her as we pulled out of the camp parking lot and headed home.

It started almost immediately, when Evan casually blurted out, “I already miss Olivia.” We humored him, but the truth is, I already missed Olivia too. And I almost lost it when my mind started wandering on our ride home and somehow fast forwarded to eight years, when I fully expect we will be dropping her off for her first semester at NYU (fortunately for her, it probably won’t be 96 degrees like it was in Utopia yesterday). As we arrived back home, I felt an uncontrollable urge to hang out in her room and assemble a doll armoire that has been sitting on her floor since Christmas 2013. Finished it tonight!

And, all day, whenever I had a spare moment, I thought of her… On my drive to work, I was wondering if she had a good night sleep – or any sleep for that matter. I thought about her as I read the paper and the graphic reminded me of Doctor Who…

As I went to get water at work, I hoped she was staying well hydrated and that she changed her underwear. On my way home, I thought of her when I sang Uptown Funk at the top of my lungs. Now, I’m sitting  here hoping she is not thinking about us at all and that she is having the time of her life. And, I’m thinking a how amazing, courageous, grown-up, smart, confident, and beautiful she is.