Category Archives: 5 Things

Jul26

5 Funny Things I Heard on the Way Home From Vacation

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So, after six days of being on vacation, we were all anxious to get home. But as usual, in a car for five hours with two little ones, there were some interesting things said during our trip back to home sweet home…Clearly, since these are not nearly as creative as the funny things I heard on our way TO our vacation destination, we were really tired on our way home!

1. “Can we stay at the  Sheraton again? I didn’t cry when we left the Great Wolf Lodge, but I’m crying when we leave the Sheraton.” – Olivia, who cries after she leaves EVERY hotel. I’m sure she is going to work for Fodor’s one day!

2. “Can we listen to Maroon 5?” – Olivia and me. Are you seeing a pattern here?

3. “How do you take the dog a bath?” – Evan. What?

4.  “More candy. More candy. More candy.” – Evan and Olivia. Oh, more sugar. Just what two kids trapped in a car for five hours need!

5. “I win, you lose. You have poop in your pants.” – Evan to Olivia (or, Evan’s Mickey Mouse stuffed animal to Olivia’s American Girl doll). Wow!

Candy rattle snake

Marvin joins the sugar high with a yummy gummy rattlesnake

Ahhh. The sound of silence!

Jun28

5 Things I Learned During Girls’ Weekend

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Last weekend, I traveled to Albany, NY to watch my beautiful niece, Madison, graduate from high school.  It was a rare occasion where I traveled without my husband and family. Instead, I was able to spend the weekend with my sister, nieces, cousin, and college roommate. It was a bona fide  girls’ weekend!

Yes, there was drinking, eating, and gossip.

I laughed. I cried, and I learned 5 things:

  1. How to induce vomiting in a dog – Maybe I left my purse on the floor when we went to graduation. Maybe my sister’s dog, Luke, likes to steal and eat things out of purses. Maybe he ate sugarless gum, mixed nuts, and dental floss. Anyway, for a 50-pound dog, you take 2 ounces of hydrogen peroxide in a measuring cup, and with a turkey baster, you insert hydrogen peroxide in dog’s mouth. Wait 5 minutes, and the vomiting will begin.
  2. How to put out a kitchen fire – When toasted coconut accidentally catches on fire in the toaster oven, with flames licking the cabinets above it, calmly pour baking powder on the fire.
  3. Graduation speeches should be kept to 4 minutes or less. However, if I am ever invited to give a graduation speech, I will include as many clichés about the future as possible in my 4 minutes.
  4. My husband will clean the house when  I am gone. Enough said.
  5. Accidentally using olive oil on  your dry hair — even if it is disguised as hair product and placed in a hair product jar — will result in greasy hair ALL DAY LONG.

With all of that being said, I can’t wait for the next learning experience!